Having a tough day? Lighten up! Here are ten incredibly funny jokes by incredibly funny people.
1. Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
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‘Room Service? Send up a larger room.’
2. Ellen DeGeneres (January 26, 1958)
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‘My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the hell she is.’
3. Tommy Cooper (1921-1984)
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‘Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, ‘Does he taste funny to you?’
4. Bill Murray (September 21 1950)
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‘A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.’
5. Robin Williams (1951-2014)
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‘God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.’
6. Dave Barry (July 3, 1947)
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‘My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.’
7. Bob Monkhouse (1928-2003)
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‘When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.’
8. Steve Martin (August 14, 1945)
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‘First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.’
9. Jerry Seinfeld (April 29, 1954)
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‘Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.’
10. Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)
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‘The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I’ll never be as good as a wall.’