NRIs, Non Resident Indians. When they return to India, they are the shiny, sparkly creatures that we get obsessed with. Most of them make us proud on global level, what with all the achievements and moolah. They also make us happy with chocolates and all things phoren. But there are a few spieces that make you want to throw a chair at 🙂 Here, we list the top ten characteristic features of such ANNOYING NRIs.
1. Bottled water, bottled water everywhere.
They are aggressively germophobiac. They demand bottled water and dearly clutch to them. But gol gappe? That’s okay yaar.
2. Tissue obsession.
Wet wipes and dry wipes are now staple. While they commute, or even just sit in the theatre, tissues adorn their hands.
3. The acquired accent.
Now they are phoren, they don’t speak the Indian accent. A flavor of English supposed to be impressive is what they talk in. And you are left to wonder like, “Huh? Pardon?”
4. Everything is spicy.
“OMG! This is so spicy. Give me my bottle of water. Aaaaah!” Like really? This wasn’t spicy three years ago? Please!
5. Cricket isn’t the shiz anymore.
Though the moment Kohli is on field, they start rooting. But until then, “I had to miss my baseball coaching for this visit, ya know”
6. The whining – traffic, power, cleanliness.
Lets be honest, these are real problems. We live with them while simultaneously trying hard to make them go. But NRIs be like, “Oh I miss the US. India is so noisy, there’s so much pollution and WHAT? Power cut?! What is that?”
7. GoodKnight is their knight in liquid format.
They are terrified of mosquitoes. Chide them a little and they will give you a loooooong list of diseases caused by mosquitoes. Plus the free sermon of how, you should keep the GoodKnight on all night.
8. Stray puppies aren’t adorable anymore.
They are the epitome of ill management. They are shocked at the sight of stray dogs, cows and buffalos. Give us a break!
9. Brands.
Yes, we all know. Gucci, Chanel, Armani. We also know that you know Sarojini Nagar, Commercial Street and street side shopping. Keep calm.
10. They can’t stop talking.
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…about ‘Back in the US, you know…”
Tag the phoren friend, now 😉